I've been in therapy for two years. Best decision I've ever made. I've worked through my anxiety, my people-pleasing, my "I'm fine" reflex when I'm absolutely not fine.

But the session that actually changed my daily life? It wasn't about any of that.

It was the one where my therapist looked at me and said: "Tanya, when was the last time you did something purely for your own pleasure? Not productivity. Not self-improvement. Pleasure."

I sat there for a full ten seconds. I had nothing.

I could list seventeen things I did for my career, my skin, my fitness, my relationships. But something that existed purely because it felt good? With no goal, no outcome, no "this will make me a better person" attached to it?

Blank.

If that silence sounds familiar — keep reading. Because what I did next surprised even me.

The homework assignment I didn't expect

My therapist didn't tell me to buy a vibrator. Let me be clear about that.

What she said was: "I want you to build a practice around pleasure. Not as a reward for finishing your to-do list. As the point itself. Start with something small — something physical, sensory, just for you."

I figured she meant a bath bomb. Maybe a nice body oil. A long shower with music.

And I did try those things. They were... fine. Nice. But they still felt like a task I was completing. Take relaxing bath. Check. Feel pleasure. Check?

It wasn't working. I was optimising my relaxation like a project plan. Classic me.

Then one evening I was scrolling through Instagram and an ad popped up for a brand called MyMuse. It was a personal massager called the Groove+. The ad was funny — not cringe, not clinical. Just a woman talking about it the way you'd talk about a really good moisturiser.

I screenshot it. Closed the app. Opened it again twenty minutes later. Read every single review on the product page.

And then I had this thought: isn't this literally what she meant?

Something physical. Sensory. Purely for my own pleasure. No other goal.

I ordered it before I could overthink it.

The arrival (and the relief)

I live in a 1BHK in Andheri with the thinnest walls known to Indian architecture. My neighbour can hear me sneeze. So "discreet" wasn't a preference — it was a requirement.

The box arrived looking like every other online order I've ever received. Plain brown. No logo. The billing just said "MyMuse" which could be a candle brand or a stationery company for all anyone knows.

Inside, the Groove+ was prettier than I expected. Matte silicone, curved shape, this dusty mauve colour that looked like it belonged next to my skincare, not hidden in a drawer. It had a ribbed texture along the body and a little pull-out loop at the base.

PHOTOGRAPH: MYMUSE

It also connected to an app — MyMuse Sync — which I wasn't expecting at all. Custom vibration patterns, intensity control, the whole thing. It felt less like a "sex toy" and more like a genuinely well-designed product. Like the people who made it actually thought about the experience.

I charged it. I waited for a quiet evening. I put on the playlist I reserve for my best moods.

And for the first time in maybe years, I did something with absolutely no agenda other than this feels good.

What actually happened

I'm not going to perform some poetic revelation here. I'll just be honest.

The first time was a little clumsy. I was figuring out the settings, adjusting the intensity, getting used to the shape. The ribbed texture felt different from what I expected — more interesting, more layered. The curve hit spots I didn't know responded to vibration.

The second time — two days later — was when it clicked.

I'd had a brutal day at work. The kind where you eat dinner standing in the kitchen staring at nothing. Old me would've scrolled Instagram for an hour, felt worse, gone to sleep annoyed. Instead, I thought: what if I actually try the thing my therapist was talking about?

Fifteen minutes later, I was lying in bed feeling genuinely, physically relaxed in a way that no amount of doomscrolling has ever produced. Not just "post-orgasm" relaxed — though yes, that — but this full-body, my-jaw-isn't-clenched-anymore, I-can-actually-breathe relaxed.

That was the moment I understood the assignment. Pleasure isn't the reward at the end of a productive day. It's the thing that makes the day liveable.

I told my therapist about it at our next session. She smiled and said: "That's exactly what I meant."

Why the Groove+ specifically

I've now been using this for about five months. I've recommended it to three friends (two of whom have bought it). Here's what makes the Groove+ the right first vibrator if you're someone like me — analytical, slightly controlling, and new to all of this:

The small addition that made a big difference

A couple of months in, I ordered MyMuse's Glide — their water-based lubricant. Honestly, I ordered it almost as an afterthought. It was ₹299 and I figured why not.

Turns out it wasn't an afterthought. It was a missing piece.

"But what if..."

I know what you're thinking because I thought all of it too.

What I'd tell the version of me who was sitting in that therapy session

You're not broken for not having a "pleasure practice." You're not behind. You're not weird for never having bought something like this at 26.

You're also not weird for buying it.

The bar for self-care has been weirdly narrow. Face masks, journaling, therapy, yoga — all great, all approved, all Instagram-friendly. But the moment self-care involves your body below the waist, suddenly it's taboo? Suddenly you need to justify it?

No. You don't.

You deserve to feel good in your body. Not as a side effect of being productive or being in a relationship or being "confident enough." Just because feeling good is valuable on its own.

The Groove+ costs ₹2,999. It's the same price as that serum you bought because a skincare influencer told you to. Except this one you'll actually use three times a week, five months later.

Use GROOVE20 at checkout. It arrives in a plain box. Your neighbours won't know. Your flatmate won't know. But you will.

And the next time someone asks when you last did something purely for your own pleasure, you won't have to sit there in silence.